"Atheist Air Hug" - Lyrics and Music!

Thunderf00t -- perhaps a harbinger -- gave me an
Atheist Air Hug in the VIP section at the Reason Rally!
Notice the lack of touching. 

In 2009 and still to this date, various atheists (and likely even Christians) have gained a great deal of entertainment from the song "Christian Side Hug" in which a rap group sang about how what they called 'front hugging' is inappropriate because, according to the lyrics, it makes for an "awkward" situation and is inappropriate. Other lyrics talked about keeping the mind "pure" and "away from sin." Instead of 'front hugging,' the song proposed that Christians put their "hands in the air and let that shoulder hang" so they can "leave room for the Holy Spirit."

Now, it seems that the atheist community -- especially after ridiculing "Christian Side Hug" -- might be in-line for some ridicule (and hopefully can take a joke) following the release of "American Atheists' Conference Code of Conduct." While well-intentioned and aiming for, as the document says, "providing a hrassment-free conference experience for everyone," the document has a curious paragraph which caught my eye. It reads,

Yes means yes; no means no; and maybe means no. Please take no for an answer for any request or activity. You are encouraged to ask for unequivocal consent for all activities during the conference. No touching other people without asking. This includes hands on knees, backs, shoulders—and hugs (ask first!). There are folks who do not like to be touched and will respect and like you more if you respect their personal space.

Hugging, as noted here, constitutes -- as one would easily guess -- "touching other people" and is also, as should be quite uncontroversially the case, an "activity" in which people are "encouraged to ask for unequivocal consent."

This document can easily warrant a lengthy blog post in my usual style of identifying a problem, defining terms, putting forth or responding to an argument, analyzing possible responses, and much more, but I am not interested in this at the moment.

Instead, I have fearlessly attempted to sing in the key, if you will, of "Christian Side Hug" and have made a parody song relevant to the atheist community that 'blogosphere insiders' and many outsiders should really enjoy...especially those in the dreaded oh-so-scary 'SlimePit.' I mean no harm to anyone and hope that people can take a joke. If you can't, please don't listen to the song or read the lyrics below the linked YouTube video. The file can also found as a .WAV file here if for some reason Youtube takes the video down or you would like another portal. This is not mean-spirited and, again, is satire/parody. Hopefully I and others can have some fun.



"Atheist Air Hug" lyrics (with added links for 'references')
Written and sung by Justin Vacula
www.justinvacula.com
Tweet with #AtheistAirHug

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

These are the AA [American Atheist] rules so
Ask permission, it's essential
Side hugs you must forget
You may be Schrodinger's Threat

Stop and listen
No knee, back, or no shoulder friskin'
I ain't that scared to call Silverman
You'll be ridin' home in original sin

We got our safe space
Conference organizer on speedial button
Code of conduct is in place
Cause we ain't frontin'

Now uh, you ain't no Watson
You ain't no Grothe
So rise up off me like elevatorguy with coffee

Now uh, don't use the side hug boy
That invades personal space
Friendly touching is inappropriate
You back up off her 'cause we
Wanna stop harassment
Have to always ask consent
That means it's you too skepchicks
No arms around him

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

We be walkin' like
We be Dawkins like
We be air huggin'
Every day and night

It's how we do fool
This ain't no Church
So don't be hatin' on me when I air hug

We livin' harassment-free
It ain't no thang
So put your hands in the air and don't let shoulders hang

I'm thinking poll-crashing
Cause y'all don't know me
I'm Pharyngulating like PZ! (oh)

So quit that touchin'
And slow down Greta Christina
Stop whining, Dear Muslima

Parallel logic people
Parallel logic people
Parallel logic people

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

I'm Stephanie Zvan
No hugging stance
Black and white and zero intolerance

But as for all of you
If I give no for an answer
No hands on knees, backs, shoulders or your AA time is through

But uh, some of y'all misogynist
Try to pull this trick
You pat on the back like a thug
But soon it turns into a hug

So if you end up touchin'
Then go ahead and report
When I air hug I respect their space of course

If an atheist walks up
With her hands spread wide
And she's shoulder bound with that look in her eye

You better turn to the side
Air pat her on her back
Cause Watson never hugged nobody like that
(Scream it)

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug

Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug
I'm a blasphemer
Filled up with feminism
Gimme dat Atheist Air Hug
Dat Atheist Air Hug